The Blue Sailboat In My Head

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If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me, and
Just forget the world?
Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol

I am officially in love with Snow Patrol. I'd only heard Run, and I thought, well yes, it's my favouritest song of all time, but maybe it was just a fluke.
No.
I just got Chasing Cars (Thanks Mel!).
I love Snow Patrol.
I love this song.
It is so beautiful.

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

Best lyrics, those. I have them in my MSN name.

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes
They're all I can see

I'm afraid I've become addicted to this song.
Ah well, tragic.

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel
Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough

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I saw V for Vendetta last night.
Damn good movie. Only problem is, now I have to watch it again.
It reminded me of 1984, the world that was created, and the slogans...
"Strength through unity
Unity through faith"
Reminded me of 1984's slogans:
"Ignorance is knowledge
Peace is war
Freedom is slavery"

1984's are probably in the wrong order, and perhaps "Freedom is slavery" is meant to be "Slavery is freedom", but the general idea is the same.

It's a scary idea, in that it is so disconcertingly possible. 1984 is set, perhaps deliberately, in a land that is not identified as any of the countries in the world today. V for Vendetta is set in the UK. One of their slogans is "Britain will prevail", or "England will prevail" or something, my memory isn't great. Is it strange that I find that more reassuring than hearing the words "America will be victorious" constantly on today's news?
Perhaps it was generally accepted by the filmmakers that to set it in the US would be too close to the current and real situation...

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Bleurgh...
I had to go downstairs to get dinner, and Bridie and Connor were throwing wooden blocks and toy trucks around and making heaps of noise. Then I came upstairs and had to help Freya set up this random palmtop-mac connection thing. Which totally ruined the nice, contemplative mood I had going there.
Bleh, also I'd kind of run out of stuff to say... But I'll come up with something.
Mmm, stirfry.

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Yeah... I got up at about eleven this morning, because I stayed up so late watching that movie last night.
And then I ate and read the newspaper and waited for Freya to get off the computer till midday. Then I wasted time (chasing cars, around my head) talking to people who didn't want to be talking to me, trying unsuccessfully for about an hour to download Chasing Cars from LimeWire, before Mel sent it to me. (Thankee!)
Yes... talked to... people... but not for long enough. It's never for long enough.
Did a bit of English work, went to Body Balance, which had crappy music today, got back, and got onto this computer, after the little ones crashed it and couldn't get it going again.
And here I am.

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Does anybody actually read the nonsense that I write?
Well yes, I know Mess reads it, and David says he reads it, and Jared and Lardo read it sometimes, and I think Jess does, too.
I suppose what I'm actually wondering is, does anybody read it, and find it funny, or interesting, or anything other than boring and meaningless?
What do I write? I write crap. I write whatever happens to me each day.
If I find my life boring, why should any of you find it interesting? What does anyone who reads this care about what so-and-so said in maths today, or how many bowls of noodles I had for breakfast today?
*sigh*
Is there a point to this blog?
I guess there is, in that I like to write it. It's like writing in a diary. But if I didn't blog for a month, would anybody apart from me notice?
Scratch that, I know at least two people would notice. But would anybody care? I doubt it.
I won't stop blogging. Because it's become part of my routine. When I have something or someone I want to avoid, I set up the laptop on my bed and sit and write for a few hours, lock myself away in my room, turn up the music, and cry, laugh, bounce or half-sleep while typing for two or three hours.
And I suppose that's it, really. It's my way to get away from everything, absolutely everything else. Because I'm talking to no one but myself, nobody will disagree with me or make me feel completely worthless. Except perhaps me. I don't feel like I'm wasting people's time, because it's so easy to simply close the window and stop reading, if the crap I write is boring you.
I concentrate on what I'm thinking, and don't concentrate on the work I'm supposed to be doing. I don't concentrate on the mess in my room I'm supposed to clean, I don't concentrate on those overdue English assignments, I don't concentrate on trying to make light conversation with people I'm having serious disagreements with. *cough* Mother *cough*.

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Damnit, now I have a bowl of stir fry and I'm not at all hungry.

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Hum ho. I'm just wondering whether there was anything that brought about that rant about bloggliness.
I doubt there was anything specifically relating to blogs that did it, that's not how my brain works. Something will make me want to rant, make me upset or angry or happy or obsessive, and I'll rant about whatever happens to float through my mind at that exact moment.
I suspect the whining rant was brought on by being pissed off at mother about the whole, no driving thing. Anyone who's talked to me in the past couple of weeks will know, I was really, really looking forward to getting that licence and actually feeling like I'd achieved something, but no. Mother doesn't trust my "mental stability". Well, fuck her.
She says, "I can't have you having a hissy fit while you're driving".
Well for one thing, they're not "hissy fits". Fuck. You'd think she'd pay attention to the flipping psychologists, even if she won't pay attention to me.
And for another, driving is not the sort of thing that would bring on one of those so-called "hissy fits".
I get anxiety attacks when I fail at something I know I should be doing well at. Or something I think I should be doing well at.
I don't expect to sit in the driver's seat of a car and immediately be able to drive, or even know how to start the bloody thing. I have never driven before.
It's something I would learn, very slowly, and I wouldn't expect to learn quickly. So I'd be learning slowly, which would be how I'd expect to be learning. So no "hissy fits".
But no, mother rejects logic.
So as you may be able to tell, I am not pleased with my mother, and she is not pleased with me.
We'll get over it, eventually, but right now I am severely pissed off.
Also, my leg makes a bloody useless mousepad.

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Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo!!
This song is goddamned funny. XD
It's quite awful at times, but it's hilarious in that the euphemisms are so horrible. I mean, "quiver bone"?! You have to laugh at that.

So hypothetically
I don't want to beat around the bush
Foxtrot
Uniform
Charlie
Kilo
Foxtrot
Uniform
Charlie
Kilo

Heh.

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Caitlin's Lesson Of The Day:
Chopsticks do not go in eyes.

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Anyway, I have work to pretend to do, so. I'd best be off.

Hugs for y'all.

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