Bad, money-spending Caitlin

I was extra naughty today and bought a dress (plus a bajillion pairs of brightly coloured underwear and some mentos).


I love how it looks from the back :)

Songs Which I Know By Their Ad-Jingle-Cousins

INXS's By My Side is 'the NRMA song'
Creedence Clearwater's Heard It Through The Grapevine is the Sultana Bran song ("sultanas from the grapevine, make sultana bran taste so fine, sweet tasty sultanas from the grapeving, tastes so good I want it all the time")
Creedence Clearwater's Down on the Corner is the Makin' Mattress's song ("Quality items, always for less, factory direct is how we buy them, here at Makin' Mattresses!")
Hoodoo Gurus' What's My Scene is the "That's my team" song ("and another thing, I've been wondering lately, if I'm a bit crazy, for my rugby league team")
Andrew is going to kill me for these, but honest, there is nothing wrong with it! :P

WHUUUUUUBBBBLE

Older and Younger All At Once

So, uh, hi.
It's been a while.
Since April, apparently.
Grarr my monitor is doing some horrible shadow thing.
Nonetheless.
Life has been going goodfully. Before I blog on, I was going to scan some bloggish thing I was writing in maths but the scanner is in use, so I shall just type it up and hope it isn't too horribly long.


This stupid teacher marks us as 'absent' if we don't do enough work in class. If I get any more absences I'll v-grade and not be able to get out of here early. So I'm scribbling here w/ my book open and occasionally tapping on a calculator.
Okay, the things I have to do to finish early:
- ToK essay (now)

- English essay (Fri.)
- ToK oral (Wed.)
- English oral (oh shite, check due date)
- Maths in-class (Fri.)
- Any drama theory from now on
- Anything from psych. - corss-line testing?
- WEX in wk 10
- Give blood
- What else can I do as back-up?
Also, ew, I need new glasses. tjese are so icky.
But yeah, all of that list is do-able, and then I can get out of here in six weeks ^_^
And then I can move to Melbourne with Andrew. I'm excited. I think I'll be able to do it. I wouldn't on my own, but Andrew helps me to do anything I want to.
Woo. Deb (student services lady who is orchestrating this great escape for me) came in and I signed the thing saying I wasn't doing the AST. It just makes everything feel much more real =)
So does talking to Andrew about housing options. The idea of owning a house with him is exciting. I mentioned Melbourne to Stuart on MSN the other night. He said, "I'll be interested to see how long it takes you to come back." I know a lot of people probably think it's a rash decision, but I won't die or anything if it doesn't work out. I can always come back here to my family.
Mmm... in lighter news, Skye's having a party tonight =) It means that Andrew will get to meet Maddie before she goes back to New Zealand. Plus I can take my camera and get a bunch of photos to fill my photo album with =) It's a pretty photo album that Skye bought for me. Also I really need a party to relax in. Not that I really relax at parties.
Well, I relax in my own way. Which is by... not relaxing. By watcching everyone else get trashed and then taking care of them.
I'll have to scan this, put it on my blog along w/ a bit of an update, and get back into this whole bloggy thing. It's a good outlet for the overflow of thoughts I have. Of course, so is Andrew, but he's not always with me, and I like to write down thoughts.
Ooh, speaking of internettage - www.wastedtalent.ca - an awesome nerdy and cute webcomic look into the life of a rare creature - the female engineering student. If you like xkcd, chances are you'll like Wasted Talent.
Whee! Now to find some other way to waste the last few minutes of maths.
Caitlin

____


So what's all this about Melbourne, you ask?
Weeelll...
Andrew has been thinking about moving to Melbourne to work, and he raised the topic with me with the sentence, "I want to move to Melbourne for working, but I would have to leave you behind, and I don't want to leave you behind." So I said, straight up, "I'll come with you, then. Provided you want me to."
So after the two of us basically saying it casually, we thought about it. Andrew has been looking into housing (which appears to be a hell of a lot cheaper than ours here) and I had been readying myself to live without him for a couple of months because he would likely move down there pretty quickly after the end of this semester, and I would have had to finish school. And then Deb suggested I do accredited instead of tertiary, because that way I can get out of school, which is really not working for me, without dropping out as such. Which really kills two birds with one stone, in that I can now finish school and then move with Andrew whenever he does. Yes, I have thought about this properly, thank you very much. No, I have not yet raised the issue with my parents. I'd rather wait till I finish this term of school so that neither I nor they are worrying about school on top of it. Also by then, Andrew and I will have been going out a little longer and the parents will hopefully object less to the "But you've only been going out BLA long" side of it. Anyone who's seen Andrew and I together knows why we're so sure of ourselves as a couple.It's just right, it just works, without even having to think about it. But of course we don't spend a lot of time together in front of my parents, so they may not have seen that... it'd be good if I could spend a couple of weeks living with Andrew in Canberra, just to sort of check it out a little closer to home, but y'know.
Ooh, also in handy and nice news for me, I am about 2/3 of the way to getting my Ps.
I have 13 out of the 22 competencies from the lobgook marked off, leaving nine to go. So this means I will have my Ps by the time I finish school, which frees me up a hell of a lot, makes working easier (I have a job! I will get to that shortly), and may mean that I can stay over at Andrew's on weeknights more easily. This is joys for me :)
Then I just need to learn how to drive Andrew's Car. I can drive auto, I can drive manual, but Andrew's Car, she is a special creature, I will have to gain her trust before she will let me drive her.
But yes, a job! I look after a couple of kidlets on Tuesday and Thursday afternoons, and will soon start teaching them piano on Wednesday afternoons. This should get me about $60 a week for 5 hours work. Now, they live gloriously close to my house - our streets basically come off opposite sides of the same more major street. But I would get paid more if I could collect them from school in a car, which I can currently not do. So, Ps would help with that.
What else...
Oh, Skye's party :)
It was pretty darn good, but I forgot my camera. However, one of the other people there had a camera and I'm in a couple of photos along with Maddie, Skye and Andrew, and I think also one of Mandy, so I am sending pokage via people in an attempt to get this person to upload the party photos to facebook, and then I can steal them... for my collection... mwahahah... :)

So uh yeah
That's basically what's been happening.
And I feel so much better than I've ever done before.
I feel older and younger all at once.
I feel safer, more confident, I can rely on myself more, but at the same time, I feel curious about the world again, I can try things out, I am not constantly apathetic and lethargic.
Life is good.
Certain aspects are meh, but in general it is good and in Andrew terms it is wonderful. Even school's not so bad now because it's nearly done and I have something to work towards.
Yay :)

Will hopefully keep up with updating a little more for a while longer before I forget again and then remember again with another burst of words.

Ooh, also Andrew builded me a puter! Which I am using now <3

Only More Of This Sort Of Thing

From each letter of the alphabet write a word connected with you

A: Andrew. Hehe. Funny he's the first thing that comes to mind for A =P
B: Boredom. I am unfortunately very easily bored.
C: Caitlin, cause it's my name =P
D: Drawing. I love it, even though I'm not particularly good.
E: Elephants. I have a bit of an obsession with them on occasion.
F: Fuck! Heh. Need I say more?
G: Grinning. I like it.
H: Hugs. I love them. They make my world.
I: Internet =P Because I live here in the intarwebz, my house is this screen.
J: Jelly, cause I love it. Especially vodka jelly ;P
K: Kisses, cause they're sweet. And something I do a lot =P
L: Love. It's an addiction of mine.
M: Mind. Mine doesn't make a whole lot of sense most of the time, but it's getting better (thank you).
N: NOODLES! Cause I love instant noodles more than is healthy =P
O: Octave, for music. Obsessive, cause I am. Observer, cause that's what I do.
P: Persistent. In an annoying way. Photography, cause I love it.
Q: Questions. "Why, why, why, why, why?" - although Robbie's suggestion is 'quirky', which I find amusing =P
R: RANDOM! That was so obvious but took me ages to think of -.-"
S: Silly. In a childish kinda way. I like being silly.
T: Thinking, cause I do too much of it.
U: Undressed. I'm like that a lot of the time =P
V: Vent. I'm good for venting shit at. Like rage and whatnot.
W: Weird - and proud :D
X: X-rated =P (tee hee)
Y: Yellow. It makes me feel happy.
Z: zzZZZ (sleepy sleepy sleepy)

One of These

1. What's the one door you wish you'd never opened? Er... probably one with naked people behind it. But ugly naked people. No, I don't know. Haven't a clue.
2. What is your most obsessive thought? "Why?"
3. Where is your favourite place in the world, and why? Pulled over by the side of Cotter Road, sitting in Andrew's car and talking for five hours straight.
4. What's the one thing your parents don't understand about you? How much I love sex :P
5. If you could relive a single day or moment, what would it be? 4th January, gazebo thing in Eddison Park, stroking Andrew's hair.
6. What were the strangest circumstances under which you have been intimate? Depends how you've been intimate - if not-quite sex counts then there are a HUGE bunch that you do not want to know at all. If only sex counts, there's only a RATHER SUBSTANTIAL bunch.
7. Under what circumstances have you been closest to death? Er... hm. I don't know?
8. What is the most gracious act of kindness you have witnessed? I don't know. All my friends are graciously kind so none in particular stand out, though I was impressed at the calmness Andrew managed while being terribly nice to a girl who reversed into his car, completely destroying the door.
9. What is the worst betrayal you have ever experienced? I haven't really, as such, been betrayed. Though I have been shocked in rather nasty ways.
10. What is the most bizarre thing you have seen or done? Seen - me. Done - Andrew ;)
11. What is the greatest risk you have ever taken? Erm... *coughthebaycough* maybe.
12. What is your earliest, most vivid memory? Building the most AWESOME bridge-oid structure out of wooden blocks only to have it knocked down by a girl with a Dorothy the Dinosaur hat - whose name I believe was Victoria. This in preschool.
13. What is the most meaningful "I love you" spoken by you or to you? The first one from Andrew. That was pretty meaningful. Pretty goddamned meaningful. It made me very happy :P
14. What was the single most terrifying moment of your life? Probably the moment Stuart broke up with me - mostly because I was simply so confused and uncomprehending.
15. If you have experienced a moment of sudden faith or loss of faith, what prompted it? Ah... sudden faith - Andrew. Sudden loss of faith - well, I can't answer that without sounding bitchy - and who cares, anyway, Andrew brought it back to me :) By faith, I mean in humankind, and love, and happiness, and everything good. Not in any sort of religious way.
16. If you could take back one thing you have done, what would it be? Hrm... I can't really think of any.
17. What is your greatest talent or accomplishment? An amazing luck ;)
18. What is the most joyful moment you have experienced? Er... first time Andrew said 'I love you', first time he took me up Mt. Stromlo in his vroomy car, that time we spent ages at the side of the road talking about everything from emotions to the school system...
19. What is the most painful moment you have experienced? Huh, being dumped, easy.
20. Open Question: Submit your own question and answer. No answer is off-limits, and can be on any personal theme. Here is a sample list of 20: abortion, addiction, adolescence, break-ups, crime, death, depression, eating disorders, humor, lucky breaks, mental disorders, moral dilemmas, pets, poverty, racism, religion, sex, suicide, turning points, war.
Lucky Breaks: Andrew! He is my lucky break :) He is the BEST FARKING COINCIDENCE EVARR XD. I loves him muchly <3

Contentment > Pants.

Caitlin is bored, blog time!

Welp, not much has been happening lately - hence my boredom - but despite the lack of anything particularly exciting, I'm feeling pretty damn good.

Reasons that I would normally not feel good that for some reason (not pointing any fingers =p ) are not affecting me:
- Maattthhs! It bores the crap out of me! And we have some tedious assignment about the stock exchange! BLUGH!
- Psychology is also boring the crap out of me and we have an assignment.
- School in general is sucky.
- I have to audition in drama because for once I want a good part instead of always being the boring unnoticed background role.
- I miss Maddie and don't see enough of anyone else who is still here apart from Skye, and even then, time spent with her is never enough =p
- I am sleeping awfully.

Respective reasons why these things in particular don't really matter:
- Even if it's boring, it's easy as all hell and thankfully, so long as I don't let it mount up, should be simple to do.
- Same here for psychology. Plus, the essay topic's not too bad and should be relatively easy for me.
- Meh. It's school. It's meant to be sucky.
- Psh, if you want something you have to work for it.
- I can talk to everyone on the phone and on MSN, even if I don't see them.
- For some bizarre reason I'm not really needing much sleep at the moment, and a lot of my particularly sleepless nights are sleepless because Andrew is with me - best possible reason not to sleep.

I've been on an almost constant stream of good-mood-ness since the beginning of January. I mean, there have been upsets, but they're the right kind of upsets - I get upset BRIEFLY and then get over it quickly. This is a vast improvement on the way I've been since about year eight - getting upset over nothing for long periods of time and working myself into depressions.
And, I don't know, there's just been meh-ness. Since about year eight, I don't think anything triggered then apart from teenageyness, I've been kind of lost and confused about everything. I've been completely up and down - and while the highs were rather exhilarating, they felt hollow because I know a low would be coming, and the lows were dreadful - I've been confused myself, not really knowing who I was or anything about myself.
You know, people ask you about yourself and I would always be like, "I dunno." and then list flaws. But I think that's always been something that would be temporary; that just needed something to trigger it to end. For me that something has been Andrew. In him I discover everything I had loved and let go of - music (playing it and listening to it), photography, general madness, confidence, drawing... and a whole lot of new things.
The way I am, if somebody is enthusiastic about something, I tend to catch that enthusiasm. Andrew has introduced me to enjoying cars - though not knowing anything about them, that would be too much effort =p - to new wonders of the internet =p, to the power of not really caring what strangers think of you, and to the joy of knowing someone who really, REALLY gets you.
So yeah, I've been reminded of everything I used to do that made me me. I've been reminded that I can create my own world, pull in all the things that are important to me and weave them into who I am. I've been playing guitar, actually learning, and playing more piano. I've been drawing again, though still not much as I have also been doing things that I should - like walking the dog, making dinner, keeping up with my schoolwork - that take time. I've rediscovered the delights of spare time, and also of just sometimes not having it.
It's like a huge rush, and this great feeling of, "Oh, right! THIS is me! I remember, now!"

Anyway, yeah. Been feeling good. Got myself a deviantART, if you feel like checking it out here
, put up some of my better oldish photos, plus one or two newish ones.
And yeah... don't gots too much to say but 'Mmm...'
Contentment is so highly underrated.
Even more underrated than pants are overrated.

Caitlin's Commandments:

1. Anyone who likes the 'red' flavour (you know the one) is an infidel and must be shunned. Very shunned. (... with knives.)
2. Just because there is no reason to use such an extraneous or superfluous word as 'extraneous' or 'superfluous', does not mean one should not use said words. In fact, bonus points to those who do.
3. No. Just, no.
4. MySpace is a sin that sends you to... waiting for Firefly fans to jump in and beat me to the quote I'm about to use... A very special kind of hell. The kind of hell reserved for child molesters, and people who talk in theatres. NO MYSPACE. Everytime you create a myspace account, Caitlin stabs a midget. Please, think of the midgets.
5. Stop mocking me for being a freak. "Yes, I'm a freak, but I have rights!" (Oh swoon, Bernard Black, have my babies!)
6. Thou shalt have no other god but me... and also the following: Dylan Moran, Terry Pratchett, Douglas Adams, any member of the Monty Python team (including any dead ones), a pleasant computer of your choice (if, however, it is shite, you will be smote [... smoten, smited, smitterised, I don't know]), Maddie, Skye, Andrew's happy-noise-joy-car-yay, or Andrew himself. Everyone else, not for worshipping. Or else... another midget bites the dust. And dust isn't very tasty, so we wouldn't want that. THINK OF THE MIDGETS!
7. The following items are holy: Pie. Pi. Instant noodles. Cupcakes with good icing. Especially good toasted sandwiches. Sex. Snuggles. Pillows. Bricks. Any combination of the last two. xkcd. Randomosity. A collection of obscure and extraneous/superfluous/for-those-of-you-who-are-not-walking-dictionaries-'unnecessary'-or-'irrelevant' words. Clear contact - the kind for covering books. Particularly comfortable, attractive, and cheap shoes. Also my lot. By lot I mean collection of random friends, family, and people-I-don't-know-but-maybe-if-I-did-I-might-like-them-and-maybe-we-could-be-friends-if-it's-not-too-much-trouble...
8. And lo, the Lord Lady declared that there were to be naps and joy, and there were naps and joy. Because naps are good. And joy is good. Fetch me my ice lolly.
9. Be polite. Always wear clean underwear (or none at all, if you are so inclined.) Don't judge. Do unto others as you would have done unto yourself. Always have clean bedsheets. All of those kind of things. Otherwise, you will die bitter and lonely, upside down on the floor of a pub toilet.
10. PISS MIDGET!

Rain - Shel Silverstein.

I opened my eyes
And looked up at the rain,
And it dripped in my head
And flowed into my brain,
And all that I hear as I lie in my bed
Is the slishity-slosh of the rain in my head.

I step very softly,
I walk very slow,
I can't do a handstand--
I might overflow,
So pardon the wild crazy thing I just said--
I'm just not the same since there's rain in my head.

~

Admittedly it is better before it starts getting silly... but yes... tis nice.

Music! Woo!

Meemix.com = Love
What it is, basically, is internet radio that learns what you like. You start by entering a song or artist, and it finds similar music. You teach it what to play and what not to play by rating the songs it gives you. It is similar to Pandora, which I used to use, but which no longer works outside of America, due to restrictions on the licence it currently operates under.

internet radio that gets you

My Rights Versus Yours - New Pornographers.

- New Pornographers Lyrics