Oh my god, could it be, anything but that, no, not...
an update!
(Dun dun dun)
(Dramatic reverb + token crushing of native and gratuitous display of flesh)
I have double tea.
Two tea bags, twice as much milk, and twice as much sugar as normal people.
Because water is the boring part of tea.
As anyone pondering upon this will no doubt have surmised, I am procrastinating.
Psychology essay.
Also ToK essay.
What I have so far for my psych. one:
"Constructive memory" - rather than reconstructing & telling what happened, parts of or whole memories are constructed. This may be due to what we "know" should have happened (social sensibilities), suggestions (often unintentional) about details, or post-event acquisition of knowledge ("That guy was a serial killer" = "Yes, I definitely remember him carrying a gun")
- Only recall bits and pieces => invent links that make sense
- *retrieval cues* too broad => memories mix (three different visits to the park become one, for example, or a dream about a park and a general concept of what should happen at parks are mixed in)
- suggestion => "When the man and woman *crashed* into each other, how fast were they going? "Crash" makes people imagine that they must have been going quickly to 'crash' when in reality they may just have bumped while moving slowly. This is why 'leading questions' are not allowed from lawyers to witnesses in court trials.
Is okay so far? Considering that's just notes and vague outlines, yes?
I'm also checking out (vaguely) the general state of society in 1933 New York.
No reason :)
Apart from it being kind of useful in our English oral =P
We're discussing King Kong being a classic of the speculative fiction genre, and we need context. So context is my researching job tonight.
What we learned from watching the 2005 King Kong was that Jack Black cannot act.
Also his character is a nasty, nasty man.
He caused the extinction of the dinosaurs and the death of the only Sensitive New Aged Gorilla to ever exist - King Kong.
It was very heart-rending.
Especially how Sexy Beast Kong's death was so drawn out :(
I drew a picture.
It's slightly confusing.
And on the side I wrote:
Thoughts are not an effective hiding place.
Big words don't protect you.
You can't chase people away forever.
Sooner or later,
you're going to have to
let someone in.
I'm not even sure who I was thinking of. Possibly me. I tend to argue using unnecessarily long and complex words. I figure, if they don't understand me, their dislike can be brushed off as ignorance. I can always claim, if backed into a corner, that there was a linguistic misunderstanding, and somehow I am still right.
I have a problem with hiding in amongst my thoughts. I feel like a goldfish trying to hide in a tacky plastic seaweed.
I can claim to be thinking and being philosophical, when in reality my thoughts are flimsy and shallow. Caitlin = goldfish, thoughts = plastic seaweed.
I tend to argue with people as my first mode of defence. If I'm worried someone won't like me, I'll be rude to them.
The only way for me to feel confident is to push the needs and feelings of others out of my head until after I've got through a situation.
And then I feel horrible, and nobody has really interacted with me at all, making the whole bullshit process redundant.
I've been feeling odd over the past week or two.
Bad odd.
I realised I haven't been writing in my diary. Or on here. Instead I've been spilling to Stuart. I'm sure he's tiring of it. Perhaps writing here or trying to keep up the diarying will direct some of my whining away from him. He's a beautifully patient and tolerant person, but I'm terrified I'll push him to the point where he can't take any more of me.
He was upset about something today, and wouldn't tell me what it was. He wouldn't talk about it, and somehow that made me sad. Most of it was, "There's something so wrong he won't talk about it?" kind of worrying. But part of it was, "I tell you everything, I try to explain my actions and feelings to show you it's not you that makes me get upset like I do, and you can't trust me in return to tell me what's upsetting you"... in not telling me what the matter was, I guess he wasn't showing me that it wasn't my fault, which is all I would have needed short term. Very short term. Five minutes after that reassurance I would be worrying away again. I'm worrying terribly now...
I worry very much about my friends and the people I love.
I want to have them all in sight so that I can stop any harm coming to them.
Me and Maddie and Skye were talking last night, about how, if Skye and Luke were in an open relationship, and Luke went off and tried new things and then came back to Skye, she would know that they had something more than anything else they could find.
I sort of realised, that I can't let anyone go, not even for a moment, for fear that they won't come back. I need an emotional stranglehold on everyone around me, like a leash, I can't bear to see people leaving, even if it's only briefly.
So sometimes I get controlling. Stuart darling, if you wind up reading this, I'm sorry for clinging so much and not wanting to let you go ever, maybe this pondering is making some sense out of it.
I sometimes feel like I'm unintentionally being manipulative. Or that it might seem that way. And those times are the times where I insist that I am fine, or that I am too dignified/proud to cry in public, and ignore things that normally make me break down.
I wonder what other people wonder. I wonder how I might describe myself. I seem very contradictory.
Manipulative and sometimes naïve; childish and cynical; slightly tired of everything but curious about most other stuff. Often withdrawn but hyperactive. Stupid and nerdy. I don't really make a whole lot of sense.
Mlarp.
I'm out of credit (I'm out of money)
I hate not being able to call people. But several times during the last few days, not having any credit has probably been a good thing.
That is, it's stopped me, say, ringing Stuart in the middle of the night. Which I am currently really wanting to do. But I'd wake the siblings.
If I still really need to talk to him when I go to bed (and it's not like, 4am), I'll call him.
Eh, fuck it, I am going to bed.
Showing posts with label homework. Show all posts
Showing posts with label homework. Show all posts
Monday, November 12, 2007
Friday, April 06, 2007
ToK Essay so far...
-- Keep in mind that this is a combination of an essay and notes at the moment... mostly I'm explaining stuff to myself and using extreme points of view to provoke myself into writing something--
Introduction
Do we as humans have the capacity to choose our actions?
Summarise each, discuss question (and importance), blah.
Important – moral responsibility, important in human society, legal/moral consequences – if people have no choice as to how they act, then they can't be held responsible. Social accountability assumes that we do have this free will to choose between doing the right thing and the wrong thing.
What is free will? (definition)
So-and-so defines free will as saying "the agent [the person acting] has the capacity to choose his or her course of action". Free will isn't just doing whatever you want, it's choosing which of the things you want is the best. Choosing between first and second order desires (or third, fourth, whatever).
Free will:
we're totally in control
we're morally responsible
if we had complete free will…
If we have free will, and we are completely in control of our choices and actions, then we are also completely morally responsible for the consequences of those choices.
Some philosophers call being able to choose not to follow our first impulses free will. (connects paragraphs/sections – or, put in one or the other. Probably second)
1st and 2nd order desires:
1st = impulse
2nd = what we want to want/review – "is this a good idea, or a bad idea?"
2nd is what constitutes free will, controlling thoughts and impulses
There must be a will before there is voluntary action.
The impulse is the first thing you want to do in reaction to something, or when faced with a choice. People don't necessarily act on impulse. Second order desire is what stops people acting impulsively. A second order desire is a desire to want to do something, or a desire for a first order desire. So the first order desire is what you immediately want to do, and the second order desire is what you want to want to do, what you feel you should do (what you feel is morally right or socially acceptable), or what reason tells you you should do (e.g., delayed gratification – wait longer for more rewards, as opposed to impulse of taking less straight away).
Free action – free will is nothing if you can't act on it
Free action is more like freedom; more what people define as freedom. Free action is the ability to act on a choice made by free will. If you decide, using your free will, that you want to, say, go to the shops, then free action is being able to go to the shops, without being stopped by any physical (or psychological) impediment.
Determinism:
Mini intro – 'lots of theories bla bla'
P+L=F (given a set 'p' or 'past', and a set 'L' or 'laws of nature', there can only be one 'f' or 'future'; there is only one way that things can turn out and it is all decided from the beginning of everything… big bang/whatever)
On a smaller scale: upbringing, environment, biology, psychology…
Theological determinism – does God have some big plan? (In which case, do our individual choices and actions matter?)
Determinists argue that action is predetermined. On a large scale, this is often argued with the logic that given a set past, and set laws of nature, there can only be one future; one way for things to end up. On a smaller scale, our choices can be determined by the way we're brought up, by our environment, by our biology, our psychology, or anything else that limits the options we have (elaborate).
(Free will affected by tastes, limit experiences by values and blah, could be for free will or for determinism)
Compatibility/Incompatibility:
if A is action, then changing A changes P or L somehow – we do have free will, and if we could choose to do something different in different circumstances, or if P or L were different – reasoning = choosing = acting
We have no free will at all because everything is determined OR we have complete free will because nothing is determined (incompatibility)
Can we have free will if determinism is true?
No: We might think we're making free choices, but they've been determined by something that's happened before (or a lot of things that have happened before).
No: We do have free will, and determinism isn't true. (We can alter the outcome by choosing to act in a different way)
Yes: Determined end, free will means. So our actions are up to us, but it will all end up the way that deterministic logic says it has to. Individual actions have individual consequences, but in 'the grand scheme of things', it's all irrelevant. Individuals can make their own little world, but they're not here for long, and they're not taking up a lot of space, so they're not really going to have a major effect on the outcome of whatever.
Conclusion:
Introduction
Do we as humans have the capacity to choose our actions?
Summarise each, discuss question (and importance), blah.
Important – moral responsibility, important in human society, legal/moral consequences – if people have no choice as to how they act, then they can't be held responsible. Social accountability assumes that we do have this free will to choose between doing the right thing and the wrong thing.
What is free will? (definition)
So-and-so defines free will as saying "the agent [the person acting] has the capacity to choose his or her course of action". Free will isn't just doing whatever you want, it's choosing which of the things you want is the best. Choosing between first and second order desires (or third, fourth, whatever).
Free will:
we're totally in control
we're morally responsible
if we had complete free will…
If we have free will, and we are completely in control of our choices and actions, then we are also completely morally responsible for the consequences of those choices.
Some philosophers call being able to choose not to follow our first impulses free will. (connects paragraphs/sections – or, put in one or the other. Probably second)
1st and 2nd order desires:
1st = impulse
2nd = what we want to want/review – "is this a good idea, or a bad idea?"
2nd is what constitutes free will, controlling thoughts and impulses
There must be a will before there is voluntary action.
The impulse is the first thing you want to do in reaction to something, or when faced with a choice. People don't necessarily act on impulse. Second order desire is what stops people acting impulsively. A second order desire is a desire to want to do something, or a desire for a first order desire. So the first order desire is what you immediately want to do, and the second order desire is what you want to want to do, what you feel you should do (what you feel is morally right or socially acceptable), or what reason tells you you should do (e.g., delayed gratification – wait longer for more rewards, as opposed to impulse of taking less straight away).
Free action – free will is nothing if you can't act on it
Free action is more like freedom; more what people define as freedom. Free action is the ability to act on a choice made by free will. If you decide, using your free will, that you want to, say, go to the shops, then free action is being able to go to the shops, without being stopped by any physical (or psychological) impediment.
Determinism:
Mini intro – 'lots of theories bla bla'
P+L=F (given a set 'p' or 'past', and a set 'L' or 'laws of nature', there can only be one 'f' or 'future'; there is only one way that things can turn out and it is all decided from the beginning of everything… big bang/whatever)
On a smaller scale: upbringing, environment, biology, psychology…
Theological determinism – does God have some big plan? (In which case, do our individual choices and actions matter?)
Determinists argue that action is predetermined. On a large scale, this is often argued with the logic that given a set past, and set laws of nature, there can only be one future; one way for things to end up. On a smaller scale, our choices can be determined by the way we're brought up, by our environment, by our biology, our psychology, or anything else that limits the options we have (elaborate).
(Free will affected by tastes, limit experiences by values and blah, could be for free will or for determinism)
Compatibility/Incompatibility:
if A is action, then changing A changes P or L somehow – we do have free will, and if we could choose to do something different in different circumstances, or if P or L were different – reasoning = choosing = acting
We have no free will at all because everything is determined OR we have complete free will because nothing is determined (incompatibility)
Can we have free will if determinism is true?
No: We might think we're making free choices, but they've been determined by something that's happened before (or a lot of things that have happened before).
No: We do have free will, and determinism isn't true. (We can alter the outcome by choosing to act in a different way)
Yes: Determined end, free will means. So our actions are up to us, but it will all end up the way that deterministic logic says it has to. Individual actions have individual consequences, but in 'the grand scheme of things', it's all irrelevant. Individuals can make their own little world, but they're not here for long, and they're not taking up a lot of space, so they're not really going to have a major effect on the outcome of whatever.
Conclusion:
Sunday, March 11, 2007
There were nine in the bed, and the little one said:
Lack of update! Wow! It must be because I'm living such an exciting life! Otherwise, it could be because I have a bad memory. =)
Anyway, not a lot has been happening. I was all, drivering around last Sunday. Driving awesomely, with my awesome skillz. I think I've told everybody that already, though >.>
Tuesday was le Moderation Day, and I don't actually remember what I did for most of that day, but I do remember driving to ADHS to pick up teh Sister. But mother drove home. She wouldn't let me drive with Freya in the car :P
Wednesday was good, good indeed. At lunch we found this random room with beds in it (No, I don't know why they were there, either), and squooshed nine squirming teenagers into it. It was fun, fun indeed. Even though I had my ear violated >.> I also can't remember who else was in the bed. Is that a bad thing? I know Rosalind, Ryan, Graeme, Stuart, Maddie and Brenda were there, and I know Kim jumped on top of us, which is eight (I think...) so I'm only missing one person... Mandy might have been in there, too.
Also, Wednesday evening I went to this anime thingy with Jared. While I originally was only going to catch up with Jared, the anime thingies themselves turned out to be quite amusing. Hurrah ^-^ Considering going next week, also.
Thursday is another non-memorable day, and Friday I only had one class, so that was good.
Yesterday I don't remember.
And in fact, I don't remember this morning, either.
But still.
Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na, peanuts!
Ahem.
Anyway, homework to avoid, meals to forget. I'm offski.
Anyway, not a lot has been happening. I was all, drivering around last Sunday. Driving awesomely, with my awesome skillz. I think I've told everybody that already, though >.>
Tuesday was le Moderation Day, and I don't actually remember what I did for most of that day, but I do remember driving to ADHS to pick up teh Sister. But mother drove home. She wouldn't let me drive with Freya in the car :P
Wednesday was good, good indeed. At lunch we found this random room with beds in it (No, I don't know why they were there, either), and squooshed nine squirming teenagers into it. It was fun, fun indeed. Even though I had my ear violated >.> I also can't remember who else was in the bed. Is that a bad thing? I know Rosalind, Ryan, Graeme, Stuart, Maddie and Brenda were there, and I know Kim jumped on top of us, which is eight (I think...) so I'm only missing one person... Mandy might have been in there, too.
Also, Wednesday evening I went to this anime thingy with Jared. While I originally was only going to catch up with Jared, the anime thingies themselves turned out to be quite amusing. Hurrah ^-^ Considering going next week, also.
Thursday is another non-memorable day, and Friday I only had one class, so that was good.
Yesterday I don't remember.
And in fact, I don't remember this morning, either.
But still.
Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na, peanuts!
Ahem.
Anyway, homework to avoid, meals to forget. I'm offski.
Monday, October 23, 2006
Sniffle
Urgh, god. I hab de borst gold eber.
Yeurk.
Stupid cold. I've been sick since like, Wednesday last week, and I haven't been able to breathe through my nose since Friday. Geurgh...
So like, Friday, I kind of had a bit of a breakdown at lunch, and I don't really remember anything between heading towards the front office with the idea of calling a parent and going home and suddenly realising I was at homedrinking tea and blowing my nose repeatedly. So I sort of have no idea what I did or said between then... eh.
I went down to Woden and back three times on Saturday. Eurgh, exercise. I went down once by myself to get another internet cord and collect my photos from Big W, then I went down with Mother & Connor to get my glasses fixed and buy some new sheets, and then I went down to hang out with Izzy, which was for like, two and a half hours, which involved wandering out to The Art Store and Saddle World and some beading shop in Phillip, so I got home and was like, completely dead, and then I had to try to learn this stoopid math stuff for the retest which may or may not be today but could be on Wednesday. -.-"
Sunday morning would have been really cool, cause like, there was the chance of a phone call, and then I remembered I'd organised for Mr. Neighbour to come over and explain the maths stuff to me, and I'm like, Nuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu! and then when I finally finished that, and got back online, no one was on. And then I forgot all the maths stuff anyway when I tried to go over it before bed. Shite.
Glurg, glurg glurg ggeurglegalureljaeglrakehhleuuerealrereurhgh...
I can't breathe, gah, and my head is like, dun, dun, dun PAIN and my eyes are watering and my throat hurts cause I keep coughing and sneezing all the time. And Mother wouldn't let me stay home because that maths test may be today.
But yes, Becky called on Friday and was all apologetic for not telling me she was moving. I may or may not have forgiven her =P
And I'm a little sort of shocked from something I heard on Sunday, which I should probably not publish to the web, but chances are I'll tell most of the people I know read this about it anyway. But yes. Very odd. Rather surprising. Hm.
Anyways. Grumble grumble stupid blocked tagboard. Waaaah!! If you comment, I can read your comments, but I can't read the tagboard, so that sucks. Grr... *sneezes*
Gack.
Also! I can legally drive today! Once I get my licence, that is. I'll have to see about going down and getting it on like, the weekend, or better still, this afternoon, with a parent. Watch out peoples, Caitlin's gonna be in charge of a car =P
*sneezes*
Anyway, offwards time.
Yeurk.
Stupid cold. I've been sick since like, Wednesday last week, and I haven't been able to breathe through my nose since Friday. Geurgh...
So like, Friday, I kind of had a bit of a breakdown at lunch, and I don't really remember anything between heading towards the front office with the idea of calling a parent and going home and suddenly realising I was at homedrinking tea and blowing my nose repeatedly. So I sort of have no idea what I did or said between then... eh.
I went down to Woden and back three times on Saturday. Eurgh, exercise. I went down once by myself to get another internet cord and collect my photos from Big W, then I went down with Mother & Connor to get my glasses fixed and buy some new sheets, and then I went down to hang out with Izzy, which was for like, two and a half hours, which involved wandering out to The Art Store and Saddle World and some beading shop in Phillip, so I got home and was like, completely dead, and then I had to try to learn this stoopid math stuff for the retest which may or may not be today but could be on Wednesday. -.-"
Sunday morning would have been really cool, cause like, there was the chance of a phone call, and then I remembered I'd organised for Mr. Neighbour to come over and explain the maths stuff to me, and I'm like, Nuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu! and then when I finally finished that, and got back online, no one was on. And then I forgot all the maths stuff anyway when I tried to go over it before bed. Shite.
Glurg, glurg glurg ggeurglegalureljaeglrakehhleuuerealrereurhgh...
I can't breathe, gah, and my head is like, dun, dun, dun PAIN and my eyes are watering and my throat hurts cause I keep coughing and sneezing all the time. And Mother wouldn't let me stay home because that maths test may be today.
But yes, Becky called on Friday and was all apologetic for not telling me she was moving. I may or may not have forgiven her =P
And I'm a little sort of shocked from something I heard on Sunday, which I should probably not publish to the web, but chances are I'll tell most of the people I know read this about it anyway. But yes. Very odd. Rather surprising. Hm.
Anyways. Grumble grumble stupid blocked tagboard. Waaaah!! If you comment, I can read your comments, but I can't read the tagboard, so that sucks. Grr... *sneezes*
Gack.
Also! I can legally drive today! Once I get my licence, that is. I'll have to see about going down and getting it on like, the weekend, or better still, this afternoon, with a parent. Watch out peoples, Caitlin's gonna be in charge of a car =P
*sneezes*
Anyway, offwards time.
Friday, September 01, 2006
Stabby pointy metal things that hurt
Well, well, well.
Piano, shmeh.
Felt like crap, and just couldn't handle the thought of school, so... mother let me stay home...
Came home... internetted while mother went on a run... got off internet when she came back, and back on again when she went to body balance... got yelled at by Someone I was talking to, which sorta screwed up my mood for the rest of the day, especially when the nurse lady at the blood test place jumped as she was poking my elbow with the needle thing cause someone said something about a rat. Stupid bleeding arm. Wouldn't stop blinking bleeding... and then I felt all dizzy and fell asleep for a while. I haven't felt dizzy after a blood test before, so I dunno if that was it or what... but hey...
Mm... head hurts... was trying to do World Issues work before, but not getting far... it's a pretty cool assignment... we get to do a report on basically any world issue, like poverty or sustainable energy, or obesity as an epidemic... pretty cool... but I still can't concentrate on it.
On the Australian amnesty international site, and probably on any other A.I. sites, there's a link to support them by buying music through them, and when you click on that, there's a 'Tell a Friend' link. When you click on that there's an awesome background, and me and my super technological skillxxørz turned it into my background on the laptop. Might try and make it into a blogskin. If I could be bothered. Or see if Jess wants to. Meh. Tis pretty cool.
I think you can get to it by clicking on this button...
In fact, they use one of the songs in a video, and it sounds pretty good. I think they're all Lennon covers, but I'm not sure. The one in the video is Isolation, which is apparently the one Snow Patrol covered. Sounds pretty cool.
Mm. Snow Patrol. Huggles to my music. I'm listening to Snow Patrol's 'Run' at the moment. One of my all time favourite songs. Tis good, tis good...
Myes... ate a whole pizza for dinner, and now feel sick... my head hurts and I'm sleepy... and not at all sure why I bothered to come online...
Meh, I'll stick around for half an hour or an hour or so, see if anyone interesting comes online... otherwise, I'm off to bed pretty early t'night.
Bobble.
Buh byes.
{~~ Ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding, ice cream truck ;) ~~}
[Edit]
Just a continuation of my first impressions last time of the beta blogger - still have found no problems, and everything works wonderfully. I love the simplicity of adding widgets into the layout, but am glad they kept the html editing options. It just makes it a lot easier than having to trawl through pages of html to find the section I'm trying to edit. Everything just flows better. I still have to be careful not to fall into the trap I encountered with MSN spaces, of filling the page with endless lists that nobody will read. I may already have fallen into that particular trap... but I'll try not to dig myself in any deeper.
Ooh, blue person.
Piano, shmeh.
Felt like crap, and just couldn't handle the thought of school, so... mother let me stay home...
Came home... internetted while mother went on a run... got off internet when she came back, and back on again when she went to body balance... got yelled at by Someone I was talking to, which sorta screwed up my mood for the rest of the day, especially when the nurse lady at the blood test place jumped as she was poking my elbow with the needle thing cause someone said something about a rat. Stupid bleeding arm. Wouldn't stop blinking bleeding... and then I felt all dizzy and fell asleep for a while. I haven't felt dizzy after a blood test before, so I dunno if that was it or what... but hey...
Mm... head hurts... was trying to do World Issues work before, but not getting far... it's a pretty cool assignment... we get to do a report on basically any world issue, like poverty or sustainable energy, or obesity as an epidemic... pretty cool... but I still can't concentrate on it.
On the Australian amnesty international site, and probably on any other A.I. sites, there's a link to support them by buying music through them, and when you click on that, there's a 'Tell a Friend' link. When you click on that there's an awesome background, and me and my super technological skillxxørz turned it into my background on the laptop. Might try and make it into a blogskin. If I could be bothered. Or see if Jess wants to. Meh. Tis pretty cool.
I think you can get to it by clicking on this button...
In fact, they use one of the songs in a video, and it sounds pretty good. I think they're all Lennon covers, but I'm not sure. The one in the video is Isolation, which is apparently the one Snow Patrol covered. Sounds pretty cool.
Mm. Snow Patrol. Huggles to my music. I'm listening to Snow Patrol's 'Run' at the moment. One of my all time favourite songs. Tis good, tis good...
Myes... ate a whole pizza for dinner, and now feel sick... my head hurts and I'm sleepy... and not at all sure why I bothered to come online...
Meh, I'll stick around for half an hour or an hour or so, see if anyone interesting comes online... otherwise, I'm off to bed pretty early t'night.
Bobble.
Buh byes.
{~~ Ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding-ding, ice cream truck ;) ~~}
[Edit]
Just a continuation of my first impressions last time of the beta blogger - still have found no problems, and everything works wonderfully. I love the simplicity of adding widgets into the layout, but am glad they kept the html editing options. It just makes it a lot easier than having to trawl through pages of html to find the section I'm trying to edit. Everything just flows better. I still have to be careful not to fall into the trap I encountered with MSN spaces, of filling the page with endless lists that nobody will read. I may already have fallen into that particular trap... but I'll try not to dig myself in any deeper.
Ooh, blue person.
Night night, my dancing coathangers.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
