World Issues, again, eh... what have you got to say for yourself, World Issues?
Nothing but an hour of unsupervised computing.
Well, tragic as it is, I'm just going to have to make the best of it.
I missed blogging yesterday afternoon, cause I only got online for ten minutes or so. I could've gone on overnight, but I was just so tired. I felt like shit yesterday, and I kept nearly collapsing; it was so hard not to keep breaking down in tears. And it keeps happening, again, and again, and I keep feeling so utterly crap, and I don't even understand why...
"Hold on, feeling like I'm heading for a
Break down, and I don't know why"
Anyway... I was online for a few minutes yesterdee ahftahnewn, before the phone rang. And then I was on the phone until dinner, and I felt better. But I know it won't last, it never does, as soon as I hang up or he hangs up I fall back into the bad mood. It only takes half an hour or so, and I suddenly realise all the stuff I still have to do, school, cleaning my room, trying to keep up lighthearted conversation with teh family... and I'm just so tired. So damn tired of it all.
Shrug, sigh, on with the blogging.
Twas a good phone call anyway.
Very good.
Anyway.
My throat is like, pain.
Even when I'm not talking or breathing or swallowing it hurts. And we're out of strepsils. I'd say 'Eurgh...' but it'd hurt my throat...
I'm liking this song. The lyrics are amusing. I've heard it's about Perth. *shrugs* It was off a triple j CD, and they have a lot of Australian music. Twould make sense. It's a good song, wherever it's about.
Panda Band, The - Sleepy Little Deathtoll Town
We got pretty neon veins and streets straight and wide
All the surfers look the same and all the suburbs go for miles
Got bells in a tower that ring in every hour
Hangin round
In my sleepy little deathtoll town
We got readings from the good book and preachers going bad
Got drunks in the parks in their brown paper bags
The sailors hit the streets now to pick up any disease going round
In my sleepy little deathtoll town
And it rains down so damn hard in this city
Don’t it cleanse our souls man
Don’t they shine pretty like a crown
In my sleepy little deathtoll town
And all the girls are dreaming
Of screen stars and health spas
Of facials and massage
And all the boys
The boys just want the girls to settle down
In my sleepy little deathtoll town
And it rains down so damn hard in this city
Don’t it cleanse our souls man
Don’t they shine pretty like a crown
In my sleepy little deathtoll-
Life and death beach guards
Helping anyone who wants to drown
In my sleepy little deathtoll-
Crash your cool cars kids and watch the citizens all gather round
In my sleepy little deathtoll town
A few of the lines don't sound quite right to me, but hey. Like I thought it was 'laughing at the beach guards', rather than 'life and death beach guards'. But meh. Those lyrics are from here.
But I like the music, too. Not just the words. It's kinda odd, but I love odd. It sounds fun, and sorta clumsy. I like it. My sister hates it, but her music taste is like, limited to the extremitiness. She listens to about 20% of my music and about 5% of my parents' music, and nothing else. Oh, wait, she listens to Kelly Clarkson, too. My other sister - Freya - has awesome music taste, though. And so does her friend, Anna. Yay, go Anna. She has kick-ass music. It's teh awesome.
Anyway. So I'm sitting 'round blogging, listening to music and reading lyrics and stuffs. Sure, there's no way I'll get this assignment in on time, but I'm enjoying myself at the moment.
I'd still rather be at home. And my throat still hurts. And there's no phone or AIM here. But hey. It's the best I could hope for, considering I'm meant to be working.
I like this keyboard. It's soft and friendly and makes my typing sound quiet. I don't type particularly loudly or violently, unlike some people I know, but I do usually hit the space bar and enter key just a little more aggressively than necessary... Especially when I'm typing quickly. I love this keyboard, it's all easy and simple and I can turn around and talk without stopping typing.
Mm...
So yeah. Becky's in Victoria, in some place that I barely know the name of, let alone know how to spell. Leaving me to be bored shitless and see even less point in coming to school. If anyone's ditching the last two lessons this afternoon, I'm going with them. I just need to get out of here, I can't stand it. I don't see any point in it, and I don't do any work anyway. But then, there's no real point in going home. I'll just sit around on the computer there and waste tim. Everything I do is wasting time. But what else am I meant to do with this 'time'? I don't have anything I really want to do, and everything I 'have' to do seems completely pointless. Meh...
I only came to school t'day cause I've got photography longline. Which is pretty cool. Didn't see Martin or Ethan before school, so I was a bit worried they might not be here, which would leave me to be bored crapless in photography, cause there'd be nobody at all to talk to. But I saw Martin just before, when he was going to maths or something. So at least he's here. Becky and Martin are probably my favourite people at school. And Madeleine. Probably Toby, too. If you end up reading this, you guys, you rock. You're awesome. You're practically the only good thing about school. Thanks for making it bearable. Jess, you'd be on there, but I talk more to you on the bus than actually at school. You're awesome too, though =P You're just not in any of my classes, 'cause you're not in my grade. Though you know that... meh.
Anyway... I really didn't want to be here for this lesson or Outdoor Ed, but there's nothing better to do. And I wouldn't mind going to English, cause Madeleine's there. Which just leaves Japanese. Which is gonna be shit. Cause there's some reading test, and I don't even know what's going on there. I don't even care anymore. I know I'm going to get really crap grades this semester, but I just can't make myself care. I know I will care, when I get my report, though. But I still can't motivate myself to do anything. Sigh, shrug, more random nonsense.
"Knock the world
Right off its feet and
Straigh onto its head
The book of love
Will long be laughing after
You are dead
Fascinated
By the look of you and
What was said"
And gosh, the spinny joy of talking to wonderful people! I would so much rather be at home right now. People who I'd really love to be talking to right now - Edward, Josh, David, maybe Isis, maybe that cricketty guy... even Becky... I need some laughter. I need to just sit around and feel good; I haven't done that in so long. Or so it feels. I know, I'll read back, and see I was happy a week ago, but I go up and down, y'see, and I'm currently down. I can get temporarily happy by talking to people, but the overall mood at the moment is down. I'll be up again in a week or so, if I'm lucky. But even then I'll know I'll be down again. It's so stupid... but meh.
Anyway... recess... food, yay... I'm teh offskis. May or may not edit this later. Depending on whether I run out of things to do or not. Meh. Buh byes.
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