Quite Contrary...

Mary, Mary, quite contrary
How does your garden grow?
With silverbells and cockleshells
And pretty maids all in a row.

Sooooo... I finished a pretty big sciencey assignment in like, half an hour last night, without breaking down and going all tantrummy once. I'm preeeetty dang proud of m'self =)

So this stupid PISA test thing, it's tomorrow, and because of it I miss an in-class essay in outdoor ed, and this big excursion up Red Hill for photography, on which the next couple of weeks of work are based. And it's fucked up, cause it's not even a school-based thing, and it's screwing around with my damned schooling.

But yeah... Missed the bus, cause the printer was all slow and wouldn't print my sciencey thing... Photography was pretty good. I think I did pretty well on the last project; a panorama using photomerge. English was meh. Watched part of Looking for Alibrandi movie... Japanese was also meh. Started a new page of scribbley colours in the back of my English book... I made some pretty damn awesome black and white patterns... Maths, I kept scribbling in my book, ignored the teacher, stared at my hand, normal stuff. Science... uh... kinda don't remember... Madeleine's eyes went all funny or something and her vision went all fcuked up, so she went down to sick bay...

Meh... got home... stacked dishwasher, tried to hide from screaming children... I'm kinda tired... Bit of a late last night, though I don't regret it.
Hm... I'm all... bah. I'm kinda noticing some major mood-swings. Like, huge highs, and some pretty fucked up lows. And through it all is this stupid feeling of not caring. It's like, "Yeah, I can see there's something fucked up with how I am, and I can see it's not good, but like... who gives a damn." And when I'm up, it's like, I don't care, cause I'm happy, and even then I can see that it's not real happiness, it's just hyperactivity. I mean, I feel good, but through the feeling good I can see that it won't last. And then when I'm down it's all... I can see the not caring even more, and it's just like... it's not worth the effort. Nothing is. And like... it's not cool. Not cool at all. But the feeling, that amazing feeling of being so utterly high for no reason at all... it's sort of addictive, and I just keep hoping I'll be like that again soon. And I know I shouldn't, and I know it's not good, but I do. Meeeeh... is not cool.

Aaaayneevayz. Heating isn't working, and it was like, two degrees this morning. So hard to get out of bed when it's cold like that. But is all good, cause I've stoleded this electric heater thing. It's incredibly noisy, but at least it stops my feet going numb. Anyways, I is off. Take care, childerbeast. *rolls away backwards*