Of hazelnut drinks and bowing waiters...

No piano lesson this morning, cause Philip's daughter was sick...
World Issues first... fucked that up... 'm too behind to catch up, now... and I wanted to do well in that... oh well...
Photography... sat around and felt like shit, tired, sick, stomach hurting, and completely ignored by Becky and Martin while they flirted...
English... Slept and cried... no work...
Saw teh doctor-lady at lunch... she doesn't know what's up with my stomach... so no help there... getting some blood tests, again, some time soon... I had like, a million in January last year...
Steak sandwich and hazelnut hot chocolate for lunch.... cost like, twenty-five bucks, 'm glad mother paid, though I felt guilty... the waiter was like, hyperactive... I swear, he was bouncing around and everything.... pretty cute, though...
Eurgh... got home... shower'd... piano'd... attempted to do some maths assignment and failed... watched some random TV movie...
Curled up and cried for a bit...
I feel like shit. I've been looking at myself, and it's like I'm not a person... like I have no personality, nothing special, nothing intriguing, nothing to make me 'me', just some stupid chick with a fucked up mind... nothing seems to mean anything to me anymore, and I certainly don't mean anything to anyone... I'm so... blank... like... I know I'm not stupid, I just... being smart doesn't mean anything to me anymore... I know I'm not really ugly, I just feel ugly, and I am plain, so boring... I know I'm not a completely bad person, but I'm not a good person, not interesting, not even curious about things anymore...
God... it's so fucked up...
I have ups and downs. I've been so up, so high on nothing for the past week or so, and suddenly I'm coming down, and fast, and I feel like shit, and I need somebody to cling to, and there's no one. And it feels so crap.
I sat, on the floor, with the lights off, for an hour before. I just sat and stared at nothing and told myself how fucking stupid I was.
Shit, man. It's not cool...
I can't sleep, either...
Though I suppose I should try...
Suppose...
Meh...