How many people it takes to change a lightbulb from Canberra schools:
Canberra Girls Grammar - One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
Narrabundah College - Two. One to change the bulb and one to figure out how to get high off the old one.
Canberra Boys Grammar - None. Those poor bastards are keeping their backs to the wall even if it means standing in the dark. Quote : "If you can't get a girl, get a Grammar boy"
Lyneham High - None. They're all too drunk to notice.
Daramalan College - None. In a perfect school nothing breaks down.
Radford Collage: Just one. We're talented, we can do drugs, sleep with people, save the world, cure world hunger, get A's and take care of a light bulb.
Belconnen High - Six. Four to break into the store, one to steal the globe and one to install it.
St Clares College - None. It is too unsafe for pregnant girls to attempt such dangerous task.
St Edmunds College - Five. One to install it, and four to tally the number of times he says fuck or talks about rugby while he's doing it.
Merici College - One. She'll put through a call to maintenance staff because there's no way she's going to do manual labour.
Yass High School - None. That hole looks better in the dark.
Bruce CIT - Five. One to change the globe and four to discuss its benefits to future vocational training.
Lake Ginninderra College - Six. One to change it but only after the other five have found an interpreter to translate the English instructions.
ANU - Seventy six. One to change the globe. Fifty to protest the globe's right not to change and twenty five to stage a counter protest.
Canberra School of Music - Forty Three. One to change the globe and 42 piece orchestra to accompany him.
Queanbeyan High - Five. One to change it, and four to go to Go Lo for new booner attire to wear for the occasion
Alfred Deakin - None. None of them can see through their long hair
St Francis Xavier - Five. One to change it, two to make sure her hair ribbons are still in place and another two to make sure her bag looks cool at all times.
Karabar High - Five. One to change the bulb and four to complain that a school of their stature was ever built in Queanbeyan.
Cooma High School - None. Everything not welded down had been flogged long ago.
Dickson College - Fourteen. One to change it, one to throw the old one at the CIT students and six Italians and six Asians to kick the crap out of each other in the meantime.
Marist College - Three. One to put in a formal complaint about the imposition, one to change the bulb and one to make the observation that it isn't half as bright as the light shining from their arses.
Goulburn High - None. Everyone is either suspended or wagging (including the teachers).
Lake Tuggeranong College - Thirty One. One to change the bulb and thirty to paint interpretive murals about it all over Civic.
Stromlo High - None, they dont bother, it's just going to get stolen or broken anyway
Batemans Bay High - Nobody bothered to ask because nobody cares about Batemans Bay
Melrose - Thirteen, one to flog the new light bulb, one teacher to have used the old one to light his bong, and 11 to have the bongs ready to celebrate once the new light bulb is in.
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